Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Bah!! Love is really strange :)

In my first blog post I had mentioned that I had fallen in love and that the life had become difficult in its own way for me after the love had happened to me... I still haven't yet told the girl that I love her nor have I told anybody else that I am in love... and hence my current situation is as good or as bad as it was when I had written the first blog post more than a year back!

In these past few months (to be read as months from the time I wrote my first blog post to till now), I have seen a lot of changes in me... a lot of changes have happened in the world around me that has truly affected me... like for example... job change, purchase of a plot of land for the construction of our dream home, etc. And then my love had also changed, it had waned actually... I had started liking another girl who works in the same office... but then one day there was this flash of light in front me... a kind of sudden realization that I was doing wrong and the only lady other than my mother I am in love with was my original girl and not the new one!!

I am still trying to tell my girl about my love. The problem is whenever I am with her, my tongue automatically gets tied and I am unable to tell her my feelings. The same thing happened last weekend. I had taken her to a movie. And while returning home after the movie, I tried so many times to tell her my feelings. But each time I opened my mouth to tell her that, the words didn't come out! I used to talk to her about something completely different from what I had intended to tell her. But one major achievement is that when she was about to get down from the car, I told her that I have to tell her something. She did ask me what it was and told me to tell her. But then I went completely blank! I didn't know what to tell her! At last I managed to tell her that I shall tell her on some other day and just drove as fast as I could from her place! So much for all the love I have for her!!! :(

Though I am scared that she might not acknowledge my love for her, somewhere deep within my heart/mind I am quite sure that she too likes me, she too loves me. But how do I find out that I am correct? How do I find out that she loves me or at least she likes me more than a friend?

Bah! Love is really strange! I had never realized how a simple love for a girl could affect a man. I wonder how the girls who had proposed me in the past had ever dared to do what I am trying to do now? Are girls(women) really braver and stronger in taking rejections in their stride than boys(men)?

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