Bah!! Love is really strange :)

In my first blog post I had mentioned that I had fallen in love and that the life had become difficult in its own way for me after the love had happened to me... I still haven't yet told the girl that I love her nor have I told anybody else that I am in love... and hence my current situation is as good or as bad as it was when I had written the first blog post more than a year back!

In these past few months (to be read as months from the time I wrote my first blog post to till now), I have seen a lot of changes in me... a lot of changes have happened in the world around me that has truly affected me... like for example... job change, purchase of a plot of land for the construction of our dream home, etc. And then my love had also changed, it had waned actually... I had started liking another girl who works in the same office... but then one day there was this flash of light in front me... a kind of sudden realization that I was doing wrong and the only lady other than my mother I am in love with was my original girl and not the new one!!

I am still trying to tell my girl about my love. The problem is whenever I am with her, my tongue automatically gets tied and I am unable to tell her my feelings. The same thing happened last weekend. I had taken her to a movie. And while returning home after the movie, I tried so many times to tell her my feelings. But each time I opened my mouth to tell her that, the words didn't come out! I used to talk to her about something completely different from what I had intended to tell her. But one major achievement is that when she was about to get down from the car, I told her that I have to tell her something. She did ask me what it was and told me to tell her. But then I went completely blank! I didn't know what to tell her! At last I managed to tell her that I shall tell her on some other day and just drove as fast as I could from her place! So much for all the love I have for her!!! :(

Though I am scared that she might not acknowledge my love for her, somewhere deep within my heart/mind I am quite sure that she too likes me, she too loves me. But how do I find out that I am correct? How do I find out that she loves me or at least she likes me more than a friend?

Bah! Love is really strange! I had never realized how a simple love for a girl could affect a man. I wonder how the girls who had proposed me in the past had ever dared to do what I am trying to do now? Are girls(women) really braver and stronger in taking rejections in their stride than boys(men)?

Quiz: What is the age of the world's known youngest grandmother?

How old was your granny when you were born or at least as you remember seeing her first? 50? 55? 60? 65?

My grandmother was around 70 years when I was born. And when I say the word grandmother, I can remember about her as having wrinkled skin, drooping eyes, lots of experience in life, master story teller, queen of patience, my favourite friend, my beloved, my confidant.

Only recently did I realize that all grand-children may not expect all of the above from their grandmother(s)... for world has got its youngest grandmother who is aged... hold your breath before reading further... only 23 years!!! Rifca Stanescu, a Rumanian woman, is a mother of 2 and a grand mother of 1 at the age of 23 years. At this speed, she surely has every chance to become the youngest great-grandmother too. :)

But on a serious note... how good is it for young adolescents to give birth? A serious topic to ponder over... but let me not get into the details about the same over here in my blog. The world is free; and may people do what they feel is right.

Another thing I realized from this incident... Indians are not alone in terms of child marriage... there are lots of  people from other countries (developed or otherwise) too who are competing for the same.

Here is a "copy paste" of the information already available on the net in many other websites...

Rifca Stanescu - Source Times of India

AT 23, THIS RUMANIAN WOMAN IS THE WORLD’S YOUNGEST GRANDMOTHER

LONDON A 23-year-old woman from Romania has claimed to have become the “world’s youngest grandmother”, a media report said. Mum-of-two Rifca Stanescu was 12 when she had her first child Maria. She urged her daughter not to follow her example - but Maria gave birth to son Ion while only 11, the Sunreported. Rifca had married jewellery seller Ionel Stanescu when she was 11 and he was 13. They eloped because Rifca feared her father wanted her to marry another village lad in Investi in Romania. She was forgiven when she had her daughter - making her mum, also Maria, a great grandmother at 40. Son Nicolae was born a year later. The young mum later tried to persuade Maria to stay at school. But Maria left to wed when she was 10 and had her baby six months later, the report said. PTI

The article published at Straits Times has a few pictures of Rifca and her family.

Friengly suggestions for the friend.

Yesterday my friend had called me up and he told me that his mother had seen a girl for him and he might get engaged to her in another couple of months... this was a very happy news for me... :) This friend of mine, the one of the very few best and closest friends of mine is at last getting ready for his engagement and in turn for his marriage... I sensed some kind of tension in his voice... but didn't speak to him much about the same yesterday...

Today I was free in the noon and thought of speaking to him to learn more about what exactly is happening about this 'girl' he is supposed to see in the days to come.... but unfortunately... I got a cross connection with another number... and couldn't speak to my friend after that...

Now around 11:00 PM, 5th of September 2010, my friend called me up to give me more updates... he shared with me the link to the girl's facebook profile... since I am not on facebook, later I asked him to send me the 'print screen' photographs of the girl from facebook. And here is when I took over as a master in the subject of talking to girls... and he became my most favourite disciple. :D

Like all guys R did ask me how the girl is... of course he isn't worried about the looks... but he meant... how the girl matched with the overweight himself!!! My friend is around 100 KGs and he isn't sure of how girls might like him when he approaches them to either make friends or for marriage.. also his history doesn't give him enough confidence to approach girls head-on. From then on.. I put on a 'master' or a 'teacher' thinking cap and started giving him gyan about what he should ask and what he should expect from the girl.

Even though I didn't tell all these in points, it helps me simplify for the sake of writing this blog to put my thoughts about how to approach a girl in points... And these are the exact few things I told R when speaking to him over phone.

These points are purely my point of view and doesn't directly say anything about how a girl expects her man to be...

And moreover these points are for an average Indian or to be specifically for a South Indian or to be even more specifically for a Kannadiga from Bangalore.

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  Start the conversation by giving a small appreciation - may be about how she looks like (beauty, or dressing) or even thanking her for coming out to talk to him can be a good ice breaker.
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  Crack a few light hearted and decent jokes to make the conversation go smoothly and to avoid the pressure of being involved in a serious talk.
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  Once the initial conversation is done and you know for sure that you can get into deeper and heavier topics, start asking a simple one....
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  For eg. the simple question can be about her interests, hobbies, education, etc. and nothing about her family or history or friends
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  Asking about ones history or friends or at times about family can put a person into a defensive state.
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  If the girl is still studying, then get to know her interests in working after the completion of her education or in case the girl seems to be an excellent student, then get to know her interests in pursuing higher studies.
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  Also let her know about your interests in either allowing the girl to go for higher education/work etc after marriage. If you both can come to a consensus about what each one of you might want to do after marriage (esp. related to career) should you continue with the other questions... Otherwise it is better to stop the conversation then and there it self and then start searching for another bride for yourself.
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  One important point to take note of when going for a talk with the girl is to know that you are actually trying to know the girl and not interviewing her in anyway even though 'knowing' the girl might involve asking a few questions. So avoid questions which might need long explanation or which might only need a 'yes/no' answers.
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  One should avoid 'yes/no' questions as much as possible. If a person is only giving a yes or a no to your questions... then it might mean 2 things... you aren't asking the right questions... or she might not be interested in you. Since it can be difficult to know which one of these 2 is the actual case it is better to always avoid 'yes/no' questions. (some of you might even want to add 'may be' to list of options ;))
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  When in a conversation try to avoid cryptic answers to the questions asked by the girl... give enough details and also hide enough of it to make the girl more interested in you to know that 'hidden' part of your answer to her question.
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  Understand she is also another human being and she too can/may have her own dreams about her man. Respect her decisions... And also understand that she will be doing a lot of sacrifices once she gets married to you. Dont ever try to bullshit her questions/ideals/dreams.
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  If in case during the conversation you realise that she is not the one for you... continue to respect her... and end the conversation gracefully... you may not get married to her... but at least you have gained a respect of a woman... (which may or may not help you in future ;))
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  Only talk about yourself if you are asked to. otherwise mostly listen to what she has to say to your questions....
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  If in case you need to tell her or make a point about your interests or responsibilities which she may have to share after marriage, but she isn't asking you anything about it... then try to ask her a question in the similar lines... most of the times... this can back-fire a question or 2 on the same grounds.
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  Even after your tries if she isn't asking you the question you want to very much answer to... then tell her about it as part of an answer to another related question or tell her directly what you need to tell her.
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  If you are particular about the way she has to dress or follow certain religious rituals strictly, then it is better to let her know about it before hand and also it is best to know what she expects from you.
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  If at any point of your conversation you realise that she isn't listening to you anymore, then it might mean that you have over-spoken with her and stop the conversation gracefully at the very moment. Otherwise it might also mean that she has lost interest in you and it is better to stop the conversation even then.
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  Before concluding tell her how good it was to know about her in the available time and how much you appreciate her. If you have really liked the girl, then also let her know you would want to meet her again to know more about her.
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  Gracefully concluding the conversation is as important as starting the conversation and continuing the same throughout. So be nice to the lady...
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  If the girl is not from the same religion or caste, then knowing girl's religion/culture is very important. It helps in more ways than I can explain in this blog.

The above list is not a comprehensive and one may not follow it exactly when he meets a girl for the first time... but these points say what I would mostly do if I had to meet a girl who might become my life partner.

As mentioned earlier... this view is from a mind of a person who is very much an Indian, a South Indian, a Kannadiga and a Brahmin.

But my views are not based upon anybody else's views and they are all my own.... People who might read this article has to understand that this is not a TODO list.

:)

Genie