Love, at last revealed!

It's been a long time since I have posted anything over here in my blog. Not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't! Call me crazy, lazy or anything you want, I just couldn't write a clean blog post on several topics I'd wanted to. :( But TODAY is a very important day of my life and I just DO NOT want to waste the opportunity by writing nothing about the day that it was!

Today, the 25th day of March, 2012 is a day to be written in red letters in my life. For today is the day I ultimately dared to propose my long time friend, love-crush, Ms N. You can also say that I only revealed to her about my feelings and the love I have towards her without actually knowing anything about how N feels about me. Nevertheless, I am feeling so very much in Love now! N could totally understand my feelings. But I felt she wanted to tell me about something which she couldn't tell today. But I am hoping that in a few days' time she tells me something that I am dying to hear from her, wanting to hear from her though all my senses have no belief in this hope thingy!  To a person who had gone out without any expectations but to have returned home with a smile and hope of making someone he has so dearly loved for so long his own and forever is a thing to be cherished for a long time. I shall surely enjoy this sweet moment for as long as possible, by protecting and nurturing it to the best of my abilities. :)

Oh Boy! I am feeling so much in Love today! I just love the day, the night, the air, the light, the language, the letters and words that make up the language, the nature, the world, the universe. I LOVE YOU, N.

What I did today has been the bravest thing I have ever done in my life till now! Just a few years back, I used to fear appreciating a person who truly deserved it. But today I am happy I have told N that I love her.

N is a very sweet girl. There are many simple things that I have liked in her. For e.g. I like her complaining when the coffee is too hot and when the same coffee turns cold after a while! I like her for her interests in movies, food and friends. I like her for narrating her life's bad experiences in a funny manner that brings about a smile on the face of the person listening to it. I like her when she, instead of telling the end of the story she is narrating from past 15-20 min, tells "...actually, I do not know the end of the story as I used to sleep-off by the time my grand mother finish narrating the story to me when I was a kid...(giggles)".

I also like her for the complex modern woman she is. N is witty, beautiful for me (;-)) and at the same time she is a responsible person and a dutiful daughter to her parents. She is intelligent and a good story teller ;-) At times I feel that she is a living drama queen since it seems to me that a lot of drama is involved in whatever she does! She is also empathetic and can read and understand a friend's mind without asking much questions! And she is also a little dumbo at times!:D

N is, for me, a 100% package who is everything I'd ever expected from my life partner + some cream and chocolate + some nutty toppings + a cherry at the top :D

My vocabulary doesn't allow me to write more than what I have already written over here without repetition of words, sentences and meaning. But my feelings towards N are 100% natural and unique and I feel no language ever created by a man can be enough to express them!

Here is a very beautiful song from movie Manasaare which is apt for the way I feeling now! The lyrics for the song can be found here.

Bah!! Love is really strange :)

In my first blog post I had mentioned that I had fallen in love and that the life had become difficult in its own way for me after the love had happened to me... I still haven't yet told the girl that I love her nor have I told anybody else that I am in love... and hence my current situation is as good or as bad as it was when I had written the first blog post more than a year back!

In these past few months (to be read as months from the time I wrote my first blog post to till now), I have seen a lot of changes in me... a lot of changes have happened in the world around me that has truly affected me... like for example... job change, purchase of a plot of land for the construction of our dream home, etc. And then my love had also changed, it had waned actually... I had started liking another girl who works in the same office... but then one day there was this flash of light in front me... a kind of sudden realization that I was doing wrong and the only lady other than my mother I am in love with was my original girl and not the new one!!

I am still trying to tell my girl about my love. The problem is whenever I am with her, my tongue automatically gets tied and I am unable to tell her my feelings. The same thing happened last weekend. I had taken her to a movie. And while returning home after the movie, I tried so many times to tell her my feelings. But each time I opened my mouth to tell her that, the words didn't come out! I used to talk to her about something completely different from what I had intended to tell her. But one major achievement is that when she was about to get down from the car, I told her that I have to tell her something. She did ask me what it was and told me to tell her. But then I went completely blank! I didn't know what to tell her! At last I managed to tell her that I shall tell her on some other day and just drove as fast as I could from her place! So much for all the love I have for her!!! :(

Though I am scared that she might not acknowledge my love for her, somewhere deep within my heart/mind I am quite sure that she too likes me, she too loves me. But how do I find out that I am correct? How do I find out that she loves me or at least she likes me more than a friend?

Bah! Love is really strange! I had never realized how a simple love for a girl could affect a man. I wonder how the girls who had proposed me in the past had ever dared to do what I am trying to do now? Are girls(women) really braver and stronger in taking rejections in their stride than boys(men)?