A story worth sharing...

Another one of those forwards which I loved to read again and again.


There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain. He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy. His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South. So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him, "You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver."


The mathematician called his son and asked, "What is more valuable - gold or silver?" "Gold," said the son. "That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver? He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver. Explain this to me, son."


So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression. "Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver."


The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin. "Why don't you pick up the gold coin?" he asked. In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins. Turning to his father, the mathematician' s son said, "The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money."


The bottom line is:
Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it.


That does not mean we lose in the game of life. It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game,


while we win in the other arena of the game. We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.

Mistakes I can never correct - 1

All of us make mistakes... and some of them make blunders... and I have made crimes!!! Well not literally but in my own way yes... I am a chicken... and I am scared to talk about this with anybody... but I want to... and hence this blog post.

This blog post contains few of the incidents that have happened in my life which I could have avoided... but I didn't... coz... I was involved in them... The incidents are not in any chronological order but just in the order which I feel most bad about. :(

Incident 1: Put a piece of cloth into my granny's mouth.

This must be the worst mistake/crime I have done in my life... and I can never excuse myself for doing this nor does anybody who has seen/heard me do this...

One afternoon, almost 7-8 years back, when my grandmother was alive but sick... and had become bed-ridden forever.. unable to move around on her own... and when she only made noises whenever she was too tired to tolerate the excruciating pain she was undergoing... I did an unimaginable crime... a crime for which I am unable to forgive myself...

That particular day I was at home trying to study for my BE semester exams... and the noise was too disturbing for me to concentrate on my studies.... and my mother used to shout at my granny whenever she made noise... Not that my mother had enough of taking care of my granny and hence was shouting at her... but just like all human beings.. my mother used to lose her patience once in a while and used to shout... That particular day... I guess my granny's pain was severe and she was in no way going to be the same old quite tolerant lady she usually was.... She kept making noises, shouting because of the pain in her body.. and my mother kept shouting at her whenever granny made noise...

I am not too sure why... but I have the habit of supporting my mother even at times she is wrong... that day too... I just wanted to help my mother and stop her from getting angry... and how could I do it other than asking my grand mother to shut-up!! :( Shit.. I did it... I went and told my granny to shut-up... but with tears in her eyes granny asked me put fire in her mouth in Kannada (means to see her dead)... which was the only way to end her miseries... I was taken aback... but I had lost my temper... I was too shocked to see my grandmother not stopping making noises instead telling me to burn her... I ran took a piece of cloth... and tried to push it into her mouth... She shouted.. shouted loudly... cried for help... and my mother came running into the room.... Mother asked me to leave the room immediately... and so I did by warning my granny to not make any more noises as it was disturbing me for my exams...

After a while.. I guess my granny's pain subsided... and she lowered her voice... and the guiltiness had already started killing me... slowly... to this day... each day... it is killing me... inch-by-inch... it is eating me up... Why on earth did I ever do this to a lady whom I had loved so much as a kid... whom I'd admired so much as a person.. and without whom I couldn't spend even a day.... I have done a crime.... and I can't excuse myself...

To add to this guilt nobody scolded me... nobody even asked me why I did what I did... not even my mother... and at times I hate her for doing this...

My grand mother was the eldest in the family... She was the eldest daughter.. and having married at an age of 14 years... she had done a lot... sacrificed a lot to bring the family of 4 sons and a daughter and their children and her sisters' families and her brother's families to the stage where they are right now.... But because of anger... I had lost control of myself... I became somebody whom I didn't know... and I did something I can't even imagine doing in my wildest dreams...

My grandmother didn't live for too long after this... guess in less than a year.... after I did all these she left me and my family and went to a place where she might have found peace forever.... the saddest part for me is that she didn't even ask for me in the last few hours of her life... She might have excused me for the gravest mistake of my life.... but I have sinned... so shall I bear the fruit for the same in a way or the other.

Sorry "Ajji" for all the wrong I have done to you... for hurting you... for having fought with you when you were alive... I was wrong many a times... but nobody corrected me... nobody made me change the way I did and what I did.... Guess this is my punishment.... I ask you sorry.... and also I request you to not excuse me for the crime I made.... coz.. if you ever pardon me... that day shall be my last day on this earth.

A lesson for every salaried employee.

Stop comparing -By Bo Sanchez

At times email forwards are such a great thing... I wonder what would have happened to the world if we didn't have the email system in place...

I'd received this email from a friend... and I felt that it should be shared with all. The article is also available in many other links... 1 of the several thousand other links which has published this article is here...

Here is the article...

STOP COMPARING

We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I'm going to tell you why. Because we love to compare. Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies.

Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners, and so buy bleaching stuff. Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours, and so purchase tanning lotions.

Those with moles have them removed, while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.

Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.

When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world. I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis. Take a look at wealth. When we drive our old Toyota ,

it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.

But the moment we see our own officemate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Rav4, we automatically feel like third class children

of God.

Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Toyota (notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased, and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.

Listen carefully. Bill Gates' total assets are worth $60 billion. That's more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $50,000 per episode! My point? No matter how hard you work, there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are.

And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more boyfriends/girlfriends, and have more problems. Try it for once. Stop looking around. Don't compare!

Don't compare her nose with your nose.

Don't compare his wife with your wife.

Don't compare his salary with your salary.

Don't compare her kid's report card with your kid's report card.

Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group.

Don't compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite

deposits.

Stop comparing and start living and you'll be happier with your life.

This is crucial: The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem).

And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. Be happy. Live!

There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.

Love who you are!

The Morning Benders - Excuses

Recently I saw this new advertisement for the Sony 3D television on my Philips 2D television :D And I instantly became a big fan of the song that was chosen for this adv.


When I googled, I found out that the song's title is "Excuses" from "The Morning Benders".... and here is the video of the same... The lyrics is given below the video.





The lyrics is taken from here.


And the video is from YouTube available here.


You tried to taste me
And I taped my tounge to the southern tip of your body
But bones are too heavy to come up
Squished into a single cell of wood


Wooooood ... woooooooood


And I made an excuse
And you found another way to tell the truth
I put no one else above us
We'll still be best friends when all turns to dust


Du-u-u-u-u-u-u-ust...Du-u-u-u-u-u-u-ust


Dum du-dum du-dum du-dum du-du-dum(repeat)


da-da-da-da-da(repeat)


We are so smooth now
Our edges are beaten drift wood whittled down
Old bodies slip when they make love
We'll mine our sparks to shoot us above


This is the advertisement video.

Lalbagh - August 2010

A small flower - shot at Lalbagh, Bangalore, August 14th 2010

Another flower - hardly a centimeter - shot at Lalbagh

Yellow yellow dirty fellow : shot at Lalbagh

Dreamy Purple - shot at Lalbagh

Friengly suggestions for the friend.

Yesterday my friend had called me up and he told me that his mother had seen a girl for him and he might get engaged to her in another couple of months... this was a very happy news for me... :) This friend of mine, the one of the very few best and closest friends of mine is at last getting ready for his engagement and in turn for his marriage... I sensed some kind of tension in his voice... but didn't speak to him much about the same yesterday...

Today I was free in the noon and thought of speaking to him to learn more about what exactly is happening about this 'girl' he is supposed to see in the days to come.... but unfortunately... I got a cross connection with another number... and couldn't speak to my friend after that...

Now around 11:00 PM, 5th of September 2010, my friend called me up to give me more updates... he shared with me the link to the girl's facebook profile... since I am not on facebook, later I asked him to send me the 'print screen' photographs of the girl from facebook. And here is when I took over as a master in the subject of talking to girls... and he became my most favourite disciple. :D

Like all guys R did ask me how the girl is... of course he isn't worried about the looks... but he meant... how the girl matched with the overweight himself!!! My friend is around 100 KGs and he isn't sure of how girls might like him when he approaches them to either make friends or for marriage.. also his history doesn't give him enough confidence to approach girls head-on. From then on.. I put on a 'master' or a 'teacher' thinking cap and started giving him gyan about what he should ask and what he should expect from the girl.

Even though I didn't tell all these in points, it helps me simplify for the sake of writing this blog to put my thoughts about how to approach a girl in points... And these are the exact few things I told R when speaking to him over phone.

These points are purely my point of view and doesn't directly say anything about how a girl expects her man to be...

And moreover these points are for an average Indian or to be specifically for a South Indian or to be even more specifically for a Kannadiga from Bangalore.

• 
  
  Start the conversation by giving a small appreciation - may be about how she looks like (beauty, or dressing) or even thanking her for coming out to talk to him can be a good ice breaker.
• 
  
  Crack a few light hearted and decent jokes to make the conversation go smoothly and to avoid the pressure of being involved in a serious talk.
• 
  
  Once the initial conversation is done and you know for sure that you can get into deeper and heavier topics, start asking a simple one....
• 
  
  For eg. the simple question can be about her interests, hobbies, education, etc. and nothing about her family or history or friends
• 
  
  Asking about ones history or friends or at times about family can put a person into a defensive state.
• 
  
  If the girl is still studying, then get to know her interests in working after the completion of her education or in case the girl seems to be an excellent student, then get to know her interests in pursuing higher studies.
• 
  
  Also let her know about your interests in either allowing the girl to go for higher education/work etc after marriage. If you both can come to a consensus about what each one of you might want to do after marriage (esp. related to career) should you continue with the other questions... Otherwise it is better to stop the conversation then and there it self and then start searching for another bride for yourself.
• 
  
  One important point to take note of when going for a talk with the girl is to know that you are actually trying to know the girl and not interviewing her in anyway even though 'knowing' the girl might involve asking a few questions. So avoid questions which might need long explanation or which might only need a 'yes/no' answers.
• 
  
  One should avoid 'yes/no' questions as much as possible. If a person is only giving a yes or a no to your questions... then it might mean 2 things... you aren't asking the right questions... or she might not be interested in you. Since it can be difficult to know which one of these 2 is the actual case it is better to always avoid 'yes/no' questions. (some of you might even want to add 'may be' to list of options ;))
• 
  
  When in a conversation try to avoid cryptic answers to the questions asked by the girl... give enough details and also hide enough of it to make the girl more interested in you to know that 'hidden' part of your answer to her question.
• 
  
  Understand she is also another human being and she too can/may have her own dreams about her man. Respect her decisions... And also understand that she will be doing a lot of sacrifices once she gets married to you. Dont ever try to bullshit her questions/ideals/dreams.
• 
  
  If in case during the conversation you realise that she is not the one for you... continue to respect her... and end the conversation gracefully... you may not get married to her... but at least you have gained a respect of a woman... (which may or may not help you in future ;))
• 
  
  Only talk about yourself if you are asked to. otherwise mostly listen to what she has to say to your questions....
• 
  
  If in case you need to tell her or make a point about your interests or responsibilities which she may have to share after marriage, but she isn't asking you anything about it... then try to ask her a question in the similar lines... most of the times... this can back-fire a question or 2 on the same grounds.
• 
  
  Even after your tries if she isn't asking you the question you want to very much answer to... then tell her about it as part of an answer to another related question or tell her directly what you need to tell her.
• 
  
  If you are particular about the way she has to dress or follow certain religious rituals strictly, then it is better to let her know about it before hand and also it is best to know what she expects from you.
• 
  
  If at any point of your conversation you realise that she isn't listening to you anymore, then it might mean that you have over-spoken with her and stop the conversation gracefully at the very moment. Otherwise it might also mean that she has lost interest in you and it is better to stop the conversation even then.
• 
  
  Before concluding tell her how good it was to know about her in the available time and how much you appreciate her. If you have really liked the girl, then also let her know you would want to meet her again to know more about her.
• 
  
  Gracefully concluding the conversation is as important as starting the conversation and continuing the same throughout. So be nice to the lady...
• 
  
  If the girl is not from the same religion or caste, then knowing girl's religion/culture is very important. It helps in more ways than I can explain in this blog.

The above list is not a comprehensive and one may not follow it exactly when he meets a girl for the first time... but these points say what I would mostly do if I had to meet a girl who might become my life partner.

As mentioned earlier... this view is from a mind of a person who is very much an Indian, a South Indian, a Kannadiga and a Brahmin.

But my views are not based upon anybody else's views and they are all my own.... People who might read this article has to understand that this is not a TODO list.

:)

Genie

A site of our own... at last.

This is an update to my previous post....

Today (i.e. 4th of August 2010) we brothers ultimately signed the required documents and became the proud owners of a 1200 sq. ft of land in Bangalore South.

It wasn't before a long wait, some fights, lots of discussions and planning did we sign for this piece of land... And today I am happy that somewhere my positive approach did help in grabbing the offer we had in hand... Like Airtel's advertisement says.. "Never miss and opportunity", we too didn't miss the most valuable opportunity of life to own a property in the Bengaluru/Bengalooru/Bangalore city.

When in school/college/university many of my friends used to wonder why I (aka my family) live in a quarters and don't own a house... they thought I was a super-rich son of a super-rich dad with a super-rich brother to help out in whatever situations I was in.. how wrong they were... Many a times I did try to explain them and make them understand that I was not what they assume about me... they all appeared satisfied by my tries... but weren't convinced enough to believe it was true... until they saw me and my previous home in Bangalore North.

And now the long wait (another one) is over... its time to start waiting for something else.. to build a home of our own... which might start happening very soon.

Somebody wish me good luck... :)

Why are people so insensitive?

Well this is a question to which I am trying to find an answer from a very long time but with hardly any luck...

As I have mentioned in one of the older blogs... I am already a little under-confident because of premature balding! But to add to this people around me make blatant comments about me losing hair and about how difficult it is to find the right girl in the future to get married to... Of course not all the people make fun of my balding head.. some of them are just concerned about me... but still they manage to hurt me and my feelings.


It is very painful for me to listen to these comments... how much ever I may try to neglect these people and their stupid yet obvious comments about my raising hair line, I can't at times control my emotions.. Whenever I am alone... I almost feel like crying.. but somehow control myself to not cry... to not feel bad... but there is a limit to all those things... I am after all just another human being...

One thing I can't understand is why people give so much importance to something that doesn't deserve it... Like hairs on a person's head is given more importance than what is inside it... A person's physical beauty is given more importance than his/her inner beauty. At times when I hear to a comment about my receding hair line, I'd want to ask them "If a woman's boobs size matters to them to have sex or the interest in having sex?". "Does a person's physical beauty decide anything about his/her intelligence?" The ultimate question is should a person's hairs, limbs, height, weight, colour decide about what exactly he/she is and the way he/she behaves to a particular situation?

The obvious answer is a big NO... but I know, people out there aren't listening to my questions... they aren't interested in it... None of these except the person him(her)self is more important to live on this earth... yet many don't see the bigger picture...

Of-course even I am giving it more importance... to hairs which are more like "Today In and Tomorrow Gone" and to the people who pass the comments.... I very well know that I can't stop people from saying what they want... I should now learn and adjust to the world which is blind, ignorant and stupid.

The only silver lining in all these is that... at least my close friends, my family isn't that bothered and make the same type of comments as others do. But somewhere in the corner of their hearts (or minds) they too are bothered about me... and my future... Hope to bring some +ve light to all those who care for me with my new found confidence and bravery in dealing with the other stupid lives on earth.

This blog post is dedicated to all those who silently suffer because of no mistake of theirs.